Dear White Christian Folk of London,

Today the Army and Marine Corps of the United States swept out of Grosvenor Square towards the City of London. They stopped briefly in the City of Westminster to occupy the Abbey Church before carrying on to set up a command post in St Paul’s Churchyard. All men under 50, except those with driving licenses showing they live in London or Westminster are now banned from worshipping in either of these two great churches of Anglicanism.

As a direct response Her Majesty’s Government has dispatched a flotilla including the aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth II(named after the Great Great Great Great Granddaughter of George III) across the Atlantic. It should shortly sail up the Potomac and whilst the White House is burning to the ground, thus finishing a job begun during the War of 1812, a set of tunnels will be dug underneath the National Cathedral.

Think its crazy? Foreign armies illegally occupying cities and blocking access to places of worship. Think again. This is happening today in Jerusalem. The Israeli Police and Army regularly block access to Masjid Al-Aqsa. The Masjid is not in Israeli territory, but nobody cares about these breaches of International law and UN Security Council resolutions.. Nobody cares, because the actions are directed against Muslims.